Every new year for the last 20 years of my life would begin with my official 10 New Year's Resolutions pinned to my bedpost. When I failed to accomplish all 10 of them by spring, I would feel disappointed and discouraged.
Creating one resolution can be incredibly difficult, yet we compose long lists and feel discouraged when we don’t accomplish them by February. It’s absurd.
That’s why this article is dedicated to simply setting three resolutions in 2020.
I asked my colleagues here at Ambiance Matchmaking, If you were to only choose three New Year's resolutions to embrace dating in 2020, what would they be? We all agreed, it would be the following…
Figure out what’s truly important to you in a partner
People rush into relationships without taking the time to know themselves and what they need out of the relationship. Meeting a lot of high quality singles won’t equate to anything if you don’t know what you’re looking for.
Therefore, first ask yourself, Who am I, and what kind of person do I need to truly flourish and thrive? The only way to know what type of person will bring out the best version of yourself, is to know yourself.
For more on this topic, read The Most Efficient Way To Meet Your Life Partner.
Try this exercise.
Write three qualities that perfectly describe you. Then, write three qualities in a partner that would complement your qualities.
***Don’t write qualities that you'd like your partner to have, write qualities that complement your personality style.
For example, this is what I wrote down.
My qualities –
- I am an idealist and strive for perfection (personal growth is very important to me).
- I am spiritual (feeling a connection to the universe and all of its wonder is important to me).
- I am a dreamer and don’t like to be told no (creating new life plans is important to me).
Complementary qualities –
- I need someone who also values personal growth and development, to always be learning new things so we can have simulating conversation.
- I need someone who does not have a religious association, but understands there is a universal consciousness.
- I need someone who is open to different forms of “life design” and flexible enough in his work to be able to try them with me.
That exercise took me 30 minutes to think through my priorities and how they shaped my life and who I am today. Those three qualities will always be a part of me… at my core. And I know that if my partner didn’t understand and respect those qualities, there would probably be no future for us.
Do you see how this exercise can save you months or even years of being with the wrong person?
What are your three qualities and complementary qualities? Drop me a line and share with me what you wrote.
Rewire your thinking patterns
This simple yet difficult habit to enforce will save you hours, months, and years of wasted time, energy, and negativity.
Every single time you have a negative thought, write down in a notebook (or type out in your phone’s notes), This is what I thought: _________ This is what I wish I had thought: _________. That’s it. Do it for a minimum of 30 days, and tell me your experience.
For me personally, it was mind blowing to realize how many negative thoughts I actually have in a single day. And by the end of the first day, I could start to recognize patterns.
For example, I’m sitting here looking at my library of books, so many of them unread, and my first thought was, You’re lazy, you haven’t read anything this year! But then I jotted down what I wish I had thought, You read twice as many books in 2019 than you did in 2018, you are improving! In two minutes, I completely shifted my perception and made me feel a hell of a lot better about myself.
Work with a professional
People work with life coaches to help improve their lives, financial advisors to put their finances in order, and realtors to find their dream home. Maybe I’m biased, but I believe there are innumerable benefits in working with a professional matchmaker in finding a life partner.
In my 17 years working with Ambiance Matchmaking, I have seen people's lives change. And I’m not just talking about meeting their husband or wife. I’m talking about the actual experience of working with a professional matchmaker. It is enlightening, eye-opening, and therapeutic.
You are able to openly discuss and evaluate what has shaped your life and made you who you are today, and what type of person will bring even more color into your life.
You will meet new types of singles that you wouldn’t have otherwise met. They might make you see the world in a different way, and you may begin to change the way you view dating and the type of person you need in your life.
You will grow as a person, and most importantly, you will have a clear vision on who you should spend the rest of your life with.
Happy 2020 from the entire team here at Ambiance Matchmaking.
Make it a good one,