We were taught from an early age to make friends, to be likable, and to be nice toward others and accept them as they are, even if that kid picks his nose and wipes his boogers all over his mouth and tries to kiss you (was that just me?).
What we are not taught, however, is that we won’t be accepted by everyone, and we will not accept everyone, and we will not become friends with everyone.
So, when there’s a really cool kid sitting across the table from you in your 5th grade cafeteria, and you want to just be friends with that person, to share a Capri-sun or an apple juice, and just have that person like you, but that doesn’t happen. The cool kid is just not having it, you don’t understand why, and you feel as if there’s something wrong with you.
But there’s nothing wrong with you. It is nearly impossible that every single person on this earth will like each other, that is, to actually have compatible personality traits that allow friendships and relationships to form. It just isn’t going to happen, and THAT’S A GOOD THING! To have a completely homogenous society would frankly be boring, and there wouldn’t be any sort of variety and diversity. Yet, we coddle our children and tell them they are wonderful and everyone should like them, rather than prepping them for reality: not everyone will like you, and that is okay.
As we grow into our adult life, we transfer this worldview into our romantic relationships. We go on one, two, three, maybe six dates with someone, and we are devastated when it doesn’t go our way. It’s okay when we do the dumping, but when someone dumps us, it’s devastating, it stings, it bruises our egos, and we take it way too personally. Why? Because we weren’t prepped, we were coddled.
We each have quirks, flaws, and probably, a lot of damn issues. But that’s okay. That’s life. That’s what makes each of us unique, beautiful even. But here’s the harsh truth that’s attached to that fact: not everyone is going to admire your quirks and flaws, yet some will absolutely adore you for them. That’s what draws people toward each other, and thats what keeps people together.
So, the next time you are rejected, or dumped, or someone “ghosts,” yes it might sting, but you don’t have to feel devastated, you just have to understand that the internal magnetic force wasn’t in play. Maybe he realized it sooner than you did, or maybe you realized it but tried to force it anyway. But somewhere in the relationship, there was a piece of the puzzle missing, and it’s better to find out now than later.
So, don’t let dating cause bitterness, or pessimism, but rather find intrigue in the vast web of unique souls and personalities, because from our colorful culture, you will one day find the one that fits your habits, quirks, and lifestyle. It may take months, or even years, so enjoying the process will be pertinent to your success!