Technology is being left out of the dating game as modern matchmakers continue to gain rise
Transparency, values, and most importantly honesty was largely lost in the wave of dating apps in recent years. Besides these irksome realties, many, especially the elite, just don’t have the time to waste online. “What people enjoy the most is getting their time back,” says Rachel Moss, a top matchmaker for Three Day Rule (TDR) in San Francisco. “We allow them to keep living their fabulous lives.”
Along with their time, singles want to date from a pool of like-minded professionals, which is nearly impossible when you are searching from the internet’s expanse. “99% of our clients have degrees, and 70% have advanced degrees,” says Leslie Wardman Founder of Ambiance Matchmaking. “Our clients are also chosen for their integrity, kindness, and for the ways in which they give back to society. Of all of the people who reach out to us we only accept 35%.” Potential clients have to be vetted, because often enough high profile singles are targeted. “Keeping our prices high keeps in the elite,” Leslie adds.
In the digital age there is too much choice. Having someone narrow the choices to a pool of people you are more likely to be interested in is critical in finding ‘the one’. “Our services work better because you have someone who has your best intentions at heart. We ask all the questions you would rather not ask on a date. Loaded questions on religion, politics, family and values. It’s like being set up by a friend, and having a personal cheerleader in your corner,” says Rachel of TDR. Algorithms, unlike their use with dating apps, are not part of the process in modern matchmaking services.
The ones that come on board with matchmaking services are serious. They have given a lot of thought on how they are going to find love; they have the right attitude, and also realistic expectations. “Many people using online dating don’t really know what they want. They only think they know,” says Leslie from Ambiance. With online dating, people are simply choosing from a few pictures, and their potential date’s perfected profile (if there is anything of value even in there). In matchmaking you are paired based on what’s beneath the facade. Many singles online are also only looking for entertainment. “Online dating has cheapened dating. People are lazy, there is no effort because meeting someone is simply a click away. With our matching services, people check their egos at the door. It separates the men from the boys,” she adds.
Many matchmaking companies also work with one another if they can’t find a match in their own database. “We collaborate with other matchmaking services, but its all about feeling a connection with the other matchmaker to know if its a good fit. California is our largest area of focus, but we also have offices in Chicago, Oklahoma, and work both nationally and internationally,” says Leslie of Ambiance Matchmaking.
Finding a match could take as little as a month, to as long as a year, because its a lasting match that matters to modern matchmakers. Quite different from the instant gratification of online dating apps. “We work hard to find you a match that will pan out through the ups and downs, and not just last the initial years,” says Leslie of Ambiance. Sometimes you get lucky. Really lucky.
In today’s world there are endless means to find love. Today’s matchmakers may be taking a modern twist in their approach, but their values lay in tradition, which is something many professional singles long for. At the end of the day, it all comes down to time, and many of us prefer it well spent.