How To Manifest The Love You Deserve

8 minute read

Jason Momoa famously had a childhood crush on Lisa Bonet, eventually meeting and marrying her years later. Joe Manganiello told People Magazine Sofia Vergara was his perfect woman long before they connected and married in 2015. Megan Fox claimed to have manifested her partner, Machine Gun Kelly, into existence, emphasizing how her thoughts and intentions shaped him into her ideal partner. These stories may sound like coincidence, but they highlight a powerful truth: manifesting love is about more than wishful thinking—it's a deliberate practice rooted in both belief and action.

Manifesting love requires more than just hoping for the right person to appear; it involves being the best possible version of yourself, actively preparing to be open and ready to receive the love you manifest. 

Mark Wahlberg's marriage to Rhea Durham exemplifies this principle. Mark had been working on himself for years, overcoming a history of drug and alcohol abuse, gang affiliation, and a 45-day stay in prison. Reflecting on their early days, he told People, "Until I met her, I wasn't ready to get married." Mark intentionally aligned their first date with his values. Meeting at a press junket in 2001, Mark invited Rhea to church the following morning, and she accepted. Their first date at St. Patrick's Cathedral in New York City set the stage for a relationship built on shared values and genuine connection. Mark continued that he knew she was "the one" right away, but he "still had to make sure that I was able to be the man I needed to be." Wahlberg's intentional self-improvement and the authenticity of his actions illustrate a key factor in manifesting love: becoming the person you aspire to be while embracing experiences that resonate with your true self. This example underscores that manifesting love isn't about waiting passively for the perfect person; it’s much more intentional.

Defining Manifestation

Tony Robbins, an expert in personal development, defines manifestation as the belief that you can “intentionally design your reality through beliefs or consistent behaviors.” While manifestation has become a modern buzzword, Robbins points out that the concept is grounded in psychology and science. Manifestation, according to Robbins, works by replacing negative thinking with positive energy. Robbins famously stated, “Whatever you hold in your mind on a consistent basis is exactly what you will experience in your life.” This encapsulates the law of attraction, which suggests that our thoughts and feelings create our reality. By focusing on positivity and gratitude, we invite similar energy into our lives, attracting relationships that resonate with our mindset.

Manifestation is essentially taking a more intentional approach to life. Look at the thoughts, actions, and behaviors in your life, and then ask yourself, ‘Does this serve the reality that I want to create?’

At its core, manifesting is behaving as if the love you desire is already yours, and aligning your thoughts and actions with your intentions to get you there. Our beliefs shape our behavior, influencing how we interact with the world, and ultimately what we attract into our lives. In short, what you focus on, you attract.

Just as Shakespeare said, “Nothing is, unless our thinking makes it so.”

The Science of Believing

Manifestation, stripped down, is an amalgamation of quantum physics, neuroplasticity, and confirmation bias. The biology of your beliefs. We have the power to think what we want into truth. The more you believe something to be true, like that you are deserving of love, the more you behave in a way that supports that belief. And, the more you behave in that way, making more choices with this belief in mind, the more you attract what you want. The more you attract what you want, the more confirmation you receive to continue on this trajectory. It’s a cycle.

Beyond just finding love or creating career success, research shows the medicinal significance of positive thinking. In fact, the term, "energy medicine," was coined by David Feinstein, Donna Eden, and Gary Craig, three researchers from Boulder, Colorado in the late 1980s — and since then, researchers have found that electrical and magnetic energy in the body actually cause chemical responses that can lead you to feel emotions such as joy. This science shows that the more you live in a state of positivity, the happier you’ll be. And the happier you are, the more likely you are to attract people living in a similar state of happiness.

Another scientific principle, known as “mirror neurons,” occurs when our brains mirror the actions we observe other people taking so that we feel as though we are doing the same thing. If we surround ourselves with successful people and positivity, our brains will mirror them, cultivating positive habits and success in our own lives. Brain imaging has shown that the areas of the brain involved in intention and action are closely connected as well. Tony Robbins explains that, “when you focus on something continuously, something magical happens.” When you activate your brain to achieve your goals (in life or love), the intention behind that activity is also activated. 

So how do we focus these manifestation efforts on our love life?

Decide What It Is That You Want

To effectively manifest the love you deserve, it's crucial to start by clearly defining what you want in a relationship. Clarify your desires and intentions. Visualize the qualities and dynamics of your ideal relationship. Be specific and authentic about what you seek. Knowing what you want is foundational to achieving your desired outcome. Setting clear intentions is like creating a roadmap toward attracting the right kind of love into your life.

In the context of romantic relationships, intentionality is key. Many people struggle to find fulfilling love because they haven't clearly identified what they truly desire. Often, past experiences serve as limiting factors, preventing us from believing in the possibility of something new, different, and better. Overcoming these limitations is essential for manifesting love. We need to genuinely believe and feel that the person we desire exists and that we will find them. The practice requires a steadfast belief in our vision, even in the face of challenges or doubts. By choosing to believe in the potential for your ideal relationship, you align your thoughts and actions with the reality you’re actively working to create. When you cultivate unwavering belief in the existence of a partner who matches your vision, you open yourself to the transformative power of manifestation.

In summary, the first step in manifesting love involves a shift in mindset—a commitment to your vision and intentions, regardless of external circumstances. By affirming your belief in the existence of the love you desire and maintaining clarity and conviction in your intentions, you set the stage for attracting a relationship that aligns with your wishes.

Believe You Are Deserving Of Love

Once you consider what you want and understand that it's out there waiting to be found, then you can move on to the next step in how to manifest love: You have to know with certainty that you are deserving of it. This step is much more internal. You must cultivate a deep sense of self-worth, release self-doubt, and embrace the belief that you deserve love, happiness, and all the good coming your way. 

Simply put, if you don't feel worthy of the kind of partner or relationship you want, it's either not going to manifest into your reality or you’ll easily sabotage it. To manifest great love, you want to focus on daily feelings of being worthy and deserving of that which you seek. In fact, manifestation ultimately works because it changes your perceptions of reality. 

Neuroscience research indicates that our perceptions of reality are significantly shaped by our beliefs, often influenced by confirmation bias. This bias leads us to accept information that aligns with our existing beliefs while dismissing contradictory evidence. For instance, if you hold the belief that you are unlovable, your mind will tend to accept evidence supporting this notion and overlook signs of being loved. Consequently, without a sense of self-worth, we may remain closed to experiences of love even if potential love exists around us. Challenging beliefs of being unlovable can create openness to the love that is likely waiting for us.

In order to feel worthy, you’ll need to eliminate any limiting beliefs you may have. We can only allow that which we think we are worthy of. If you feel unworthy based on past experiences from your childhood or previous relationships, you’ll need to process those feelings and clear them out before you can attract your ultimate person. Once you find your limiting beliefs and heal them, then you can use positive intentions, good thoughts, and visualize the partner of your dreams.

By manifesting, you are going to get back a mirror reflection of what's inside of you (remember those mirror neurons?), so it's best to do the work to clear your fears, limiting beliefs, and past wounds at the same time that you're actively focusing on manifesting your person.

Take Action In Your Manifestation Environment

The final step in manifesting love is not about summoning a partner out of thin air; it's a journey of conscious living and purposeful existence. By aligning your thoughts, beliefs, and actions with the love you desire, you set the stage for meaningful connections. Embrace the power of manifestation to cultivate the love you deserve—starting from within and working outward. As you embody love and positivity, you'll naturally attract relationships that reflect your inner state. Trust in the process, stay open to possibilities, and allow love to flow into your life with ease.

To facilitate the manifestation of romantic love, cultivate a supportive and positive environment. Surround yourself with nurturing relationships—whether with friends, family, or mentors—who uplift and inspire you. Engage regularly in activities that bring joy and fulfillment to your life.

By surrounding yourself with various forms of loving relationships, you position yourself to attract romantic love. Placing yourself in an environment where your ideal partner would naturally exist and engaging in activities aligned with the values and interests you seek in a partner increases the likelihood of making meaningful connections. This intentional approach enhances your receptivity to encountering the kind of love you desire.

Those mirror neurons fire both when we perform an action and when we observe someone else performing the same action. Essentially, our brains mirror the behaviors and emotions of those around us. When we surround ourselves with positive, loving individuals, in places that inspire us and bring us joy, we stimulate our mirror neurons to cultivate similar feelings within ourselves. 

This phenomenon underscores the importance of choosing our environment and influences wisely when manifesting love. In other words: Surround yourself with people, places, and behaviors that make you feel like the best version of yourself, and then be that best version of yourself. That is how to manifest love.