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Money Blueprint Questions & Exercises

Listen to this series via our Date Smart podcast. Episodes are released weekly!

TOP 10 QUESTIONS TO UNCOVER YOUR DATE’S MONEY MINDSET.

For those not in a serious relationship, this is a set of more casual questions to ask on your date. We recommend waiting until the fourth or fifth date to have this conversation.

  • Did your family openly talk about money when you were growing up or was it a taboo topic?
  • How did your family talk about money?
  • What do you value in life (e.g. travel, food, etc) and why? (How do you decide what to spend money on and what’s not worth it?)
  • What does your current/future lifestyle look like?
  • What kind of lifestyle do you expect?
  • What do you want your daily life to look like?
  • Where do you want to live? (Which country?)
  • What kind of environment do you want to live in? Ie: Beach, mountains, small town, big city, etc.
  • If you woke up with $5 million what would you change about your life?
  • If you didn’t have to work (and money wasn’t an issue), how would you spend your time?

MONEY BLUEPRINT.

This is the set of questions to ask yourself and your partner to uncover your and your partner's money psychology.

  • Tell me about your relationship with money growing up.
  • How did your parents talk about money? How did they manage it?
  • How are you identical or opposite to either of your parent's money habits and ways of being?
  • How has this affected your financial life? 
  • What invisible scripts do you have about money? 
  • How do you treat money? 
  • How does money make you feel? 
  • What does having money mean to you? 
  • Do you need a certain amount in your bank account to feel safe?
  • Are you risk-averse?
  • How do you decide what to spend money on and what’s not worth it? 
  • What are your biggest financial fears and dreams?

LIFESTYLE/ CREATING A SHARED VISION.

Each partner should write a “vision statement” (separately, not together).

  • From a financial perspective, what do you want? 
  • What kind of lifestyle do you expect? 
  • Why do you want to grow your money?
  • Do you want to live a “rich life” or aggressively save for retirement?
  • What does your current/future lifestyle look like? Which country will you live in?
  • Will you retire early by building a lifestyle focused on saving and delayed gratification?
  • What house will you buy and how much of your income will you dedicate to a mortgage?
  • Is your car for self-image, or is it just transportation?
  • Do you like to camp on vacation or stay in 5-star hotels?
  • What is your vision for our family? 5, 10 years?
  • What do you want your daily life to look like?
  • Where do you want to live? What kind of environment? Beach, mountains, small town, big city.
  • Do you want to have kids? How many? How will we raise them? Eg. Public vs private school, religion, location, etc.
  • If you woke up with 5M what would you change about your life? 
  • If you didn’t have to work (and money wasn’t an issue), how would you spend your time?
  • What financial decisions do you not agree on as a couple?
  • How important is it to you on a scale of 1-10?
  • Individually, or as a couple, what does a rich life look like to you? Why?
  • On separate pieces of paper, write down your bucket list for the next 10 years.

NUMBERS.

This section includes practical questions to analyze how you are saving and spending your money. Each partner should first track their numbers, and then use the data to analyze their habits. This is a very eye-opening exercise. 

  • Bucket your spending into only 5-7 categories so it’s not overwhelming. Gas = auto expense, etc.
  • How much money do you make? A list of accounts and the amount in each.
  • How much money have you saved?
  • How much debt do you have? Include interest rates, monthly payments, and payoff dates.
  • What are your monthly expenses/spending? (Show yours first, then ask “What do you think I could be doing better?)
  • What are your long and short-term financial goals?
  • What are our joint financial goals? 

Listen to this series via the Date Smart podcast. Episodes are released weekly!

The Date Smart podcast is hosted by Ambiance Matchmaking’s cofounder Taylor Wade. Twenty years ago, Taylor cofounded Ambiance Matchmaking, an exclusive matchmaking agency that has helped over 100,000 singles master their dating lives. In this podcast, she shares the same tactics and techniques with you. Mastering your dating life is easier than you think –– it’s just a matter of science and a little know-how.

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Taylor Wade

Taylor is one of the founders of Ambiance Matchmaking. She now dedicates her time to curating content for our community through her podcast and blog. Writing and podcasting is the art of great story-telling. As a relationship writer and editor, she has always sought to capture the reality of the dating experience, full of drama, friction, and joy. The best mind is an open mind, so she specializes in asking questions and approaching a story without preconceptions.

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