Listen to this series via our Date Smart podcast. Episodes are released weekly!

TOP 10 QUESTIONS TO UNCOVER YOUR DATE’S MONEY MINDSET.

For those not in a serious relationship, this is a set of more casual questions to ask on your date. We recommend waiting until the fourth or fifth date to have this conversation.

• Did your family openly talk about money when you were growing up or was it a taboo topic?
• How did your family talk about money?
• What do you value in life (e.g. travel, food, etc) and why? (How do you decide what to spend money on and what’s not worth it?)
• What does your current/future lifestyle look like?
• What kind of lifestyle do you expect?
• What do you want your daily life to look like?
• Where do you want to live? (Which country?)
• What kind of environment do you want to live in? Ie: Beach, mountains, small town, big city, etc.
• If you woke up with $5 million what would you change about your life?
• If you didn’t have to work (and money wasn’t an issue), how would you spend your time?

MONEY BLUEPRINT.

This is the set of questions to ask yourself and your partner to uncover your and your partner’s money psychology.

• Can you describe your financial experience and mindset during your upbringing?
• What was your family’s approach to discussing and managing money?
• In what ways are your money habits similar to or different from your parents’?
• How have your early experiences with money influenced your current financial situation?
• What ingrained beliefs or attitudes about money do you hold?
• How do you approach and handle money in your daily life?
• What emotions or thoughts arise when you think about money?
• What significance does money hold for you personally?
• Do you require a specific bank balance to feel financially secure?
• Are you cautious about taking financial risks?
• How do you prioritize spending decisions and determine what’s worth the expenditure?
• What are your major financial concerns and aspirations?

LIFESTYLE/ CREATING A SHARED VISION.

Each partner should write a “vision statement” individually.

• From a financial standpoint, what are your goals?
• What lifestyle do you envision for yourself?
• What motivates you to build wealth?
• Do you prefer to live a lavish lifestyle or focus on saving for retirement?
• How do you picture your current and future lifestyle? Where would you like to live?
• Are you aiming for early retirement through a focus on saving and delayed gratification?
• What type of home are you planning to buy, and what portion of your income will you allocate to your mortgage?
• Is your vehicle a status symbol or purely for transportation?
• Do you prefer vacationing in luxury hotels or camping?
• What is your long-term vision for our family in the next 5 to 10 years?
• What does your ideal daily life look like?
• Where do you want to reside? What type of environment appeals to you: beach, mountains, small town, or city?
• Do you want children? If so, how many, and what will be your approach to their upbringing? (e.g., schooling, religion, location)
• If you suddenly acquired 5 million dollars, how would you alter your life?
• If work were not a necessity, how would you spend your time?
• What financial decisions do we currently disagree on as a couple?
• On a scale from 1 to 10, how important is this issue to you?
• What does a fulfilling life look like to you individually or as a couple, and why?
• Write down your top priorities for the next decade on separate pieces of paper.

Bonus Activity: Create a list of mutual principles and actions to adhere to. Refer to this list during disagreements to maintain objectivity and keep financial goals in perspective.

NUMBERS.

This section includes practical questions to analyze how you are saving and spending your money. Each partner should first track their numbers, and then use the data to analyze their habits. This is a very eye-opening exercise. 

• Organize your spending into 5-7 broad categories to simplify tracking. For example, categorize gas under ‘Auto Expenses.’
• Document your income sources. Provide a breakdown of your accounts and their current balances.
• Detail your savings. How much have you accumulated so far?
• List your debts, including interest rates, monthly payments, and anticipated payoff dates.
• Outline your monthly expenses and spending. Share your own spending habits first, then ask, “What improvements can I make?”
• Define your financial goals for both the short-term and long-term.
• What are our shared financial objectives?

Listen to this series via the Date Smart podcast. Episodes are released weekly!

The Date Smart podcast is hosted by Ambiance Matchmaking’s cofounder Taylor Wade. Twenty years ago, Taylor cofounded Ambiance Matchmaking, an exclusive matchmaking agency that has helped over 100,000 singles master their dating lives. In this podcast, she shares the same tactics and techniques with you. Mastering your dating life is easier than you think –– it’s just a matter of science and a little know-how.

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