We’ve all heard it — or said it ourselves:

“I’m just into athletic types.”
“I only date creatives.”
“I could never date someone who works a 9–5.”
“I want someone tall, spiritual, and driven.”

Sound familiar?

Having a “type” is something we often treat like a badge of honor or a guiding light in our romantic life. But what if your type is actually the thing standing between you and the kind of relationship you really want?

Let’s dive deeper into the psychology of attraction — and why dating outside your type could be the most liberating move you make in your love life.

What Does It Mean to Have a “Type”?

When people say they have a type, they usually mean:

• A physical preference (tall, fit, stylish, etc.).
• A personality archetype (the funny one, the mysterious one, the overachiever).
• Or even a lifestyle or profession they’re drawn to (entrepreneurs, artists, athletes, etc.).

But here’s what many don’t realize — our “types” are often shaped not just by preference, but by past conditioning.

The Psychology Behind Your Type

We’re drawn to what’s familiar — even when it’s not always healthy. Your type may be tied to:

• Childhood dynamics (e.g., trying to recreate or “fix” a parent-child dynamic).
• Cultural expectations or media influences.
• Trauma repetition, where your nervous system is drawn to the familiar chaos or emotional unavailability you’ve known before.

This is why we often date people who feel like home — even if home wasn’t safe, secure, or emotionally fulfilling.

So if your dating history feels like a loop of different faces with the same outcome, your type might be to blame.

Signs Your Type Might Be Holding You Back

• You keep ending up in emotionally unavailable relationships.
• You overlook people who don’t fit a very specific mold — even when you connect.
• You’re stuck in a cycle of instant attraction, fast burnouts.
• Your checklist focuses more on how they look on paper than how you feel around them.

What Happens When You Date Outside the Mold?

Dating outside your type isn’t about settling — it’s about expanding.

Here’s what it could look like:

• Choosing someone with a different career path than you thought you’d date.
• Being open to different love languages — someone who shows love through consistency rather than grand gestures.
• Exploring relationships with people from different cultural backgrounds, belief systems, or lifestyles.
• Letting go of the idea that your partner needs to check every aesthetic or personality box.

The Unexpected Benefits

1. Deeper Emotional Connection
   When you strip away superficial checklists, you create space for real connection. You notice how someone makes you feel, not just how they fit your idea of a partner.
2. Personal Growth
   Being with someone different than your norm can challenge your beliefs, expand your worldview, and introduce you to new perspectives.
3. Healing Old Patterns
   When you stop chasing the familiar dysfunction, you create room for secure attachment, healthier communication, and mutual respect.
4. Surprise Chemistry
   Many people report stronger long-term chemistry with someone they didn’t expect to fall for. The “slow burn” becomes more powerful than the instant spark.

A Real-World Reminder

Look at couples who are thriving in real life — or even in the celebrity world — and you’ll notice something: the strongest relationships aren’t always between “matched types,” but between people who are aligned in values, communication, and emotional maturity.

Think of someone like Rihanna and A$AP Rocky — they may not have been everyone’s predicted match at first, but their friendship-first foundation and ability to challenge norms have made them one of today’s most beloved couples.

So… Is It Time to Break Your Type?

If what you’ve always wanted hasn’t worked, it might be time to want something different. Or at least — be open to the unexpected.

Because real love?
It doesn’t always come in the package you imagined.
It comes in the form that helps you grow, feel safe, be seen, and build something lasting.

Your Challenge This Week:

Say yes to someone outside your usual “type.” Go on a date with curiosity, not a checklist.

And if you’re open to meeting someone new — someone who challenges and inspires you — we can help.

Apply for free matchmaking at www.ambiancematchmaking.com/apply

You never know. Your “non-type” might just be the love you’ve been waiting for.