Ambiance Matchmaking Meet Attractive Singles
Ambiance Matchmaking Meet Attractive Singles

Chapter 6: How Matchmakers Find Your Matches

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While matchmaking agencies may have different methods for finding matches for their clients, there are five principal methods.

Company’s Client Base

Normally, matchmakers will first look at their pool of clients. This can be a small pool, or quite large, depending on the company’s business model. Smaller matchmaking agencies may only accept around 25 clients at any given time to focus their time, energy, and resources wisely. Other larger matchmaking companies and franchises will have a much larger client base. Just keep in mind, more is not always better. Normally, larger companies will not be as selective in whom they accept as clients, and clients may not get the individual care and attention that a smaller agency can normally provide to its clients. 

Singles Database

Every agency should have its own database of singles. There is something very important worth mentioning here. More established matchmakers with years in business will most likely have a larger singles database. However, the database may not be updated constantly, therefore reflecting an inflated number, or the agency (depending on how selective it is) may or may not screen singles entering the database. For example, Ambiance Matchmaking keeps its database updated weekly, and we screen all singles before we accept them into our database. 

Matchmakers' Network

Some matchmakers may have a network of other professional matchmakers with whom they can assist in client searches. For example, Ambiance Matchmaking has its very own Private Matchmakers Network (PMN). We invited 140 of the best matchmakers in the world to join this network. It is completely confidential and under no circumstance is the client information shared outside of this network of matchmaking agencies.


Many matchmakers will hire recruiters to assist in client searches. Recruiters can utilize their own personal and professional networks to find quality matches for clients. Recruiters, and also many matchmakers, attend social events to network and scout singles. Finally, recruiters may take advantage of the fact that there are more than 4 billion people online today to find quality matches for clients, which we’ll discuss next.

Social Networking Sites

Many matchmaking agencies will use social networking sites to search for quality matches for their clients. Nowadays, this may be considered the most efficient way to search for singles since almost 800 million people have LinkedIn and almost 3 billion people have Facebook. However, ensure that your matchmaker screens every potential match, essentially going on the first date for you, so you can bypass dates that normally lead to ‘dating burnout.’ This will save you time and energy and ensure you are only meeting matches who are looking for commitment.

Case Study: Ambiance Matchmaking

How does Ambiance Matchmaking find matches for its members?

This week we’re following Ambiance Matchmaking's Founder and Matchmaker, Leslie Wardman, as she seeks matches for our new VIP client, Jeff. Jeff was born in the northern small town of Sinaloa (Mexico), grew up in Mexico City, and then moved to Boston to attend Harvard Business School. He now splits his time between San Francisco and Mexico City managing an international tech company he founded ten years ago. When he’s not dominating the tech world, he travels the world competing in Ironman. For anyone not familiar, Ironman is a much harder, longer version of a triathlon, consisting of a 2.4-mile swim, a 112-mile bike, and a full marathon (26.22-mile run). Jeff is seeking someone who is just as motivated in business and life as he is.

The Interview: Monday, 7 am, Condesa, Mexico City

Leslie flies to Mexico City to meet with Jeff at his office located in the trendy Condesa neighborhood. She starts by asking questions about his background and lifestyle; education, career goals, hobbies, sports, music, films, news stations, favorite travel destinations, dietary restrictions, drinking habits, and the like.

Leslie then moves into a much bigger conversation; his family and upbringing, including ethnic origins, religious traditions, his parent's marriage, his relationship with his siblings, where he was raised, and how he was raised. Family and upbringing both play a huge part in how one will navigate a romantic relationship and marriage.  

Finally, Leslie and Jeff discuss an even bigger conversation; what he’s looking for in his life partner. Does he want to find a relationship or get married? What’s important to him in a partner and what are his deal-breakers? Does he want to have children? How does he want to raise his children? Is religion or spirituality important? Where does he want to settle down? 

Jeff provides deep insight into his life, his worldview, and his belief system. Leslie takes notes fervently. He describes his upbringing as very loving. His parents were affectionate and respectful of one another, and he seeks the same in his marriage. He wants two children who are well-traveled and cultured, therefore his wife must enjoy travel and experiencing different ways of living. 

Since Jeff splits his time between San Francisco and Mexico City, he loved the fact that we have offices in both cities. However, he is open to finding his wife anywhere in the world, as long as she is willing to relocate at some point in their relationship.

The 90-minute interview comes to an end. Leslie feels a deep understanding of Jeff, including his energy and overall disposition, which she describes as “cool, calm, and confident. The kind of energy that makes one feel at ease.” This is very important when matching two people, and why video calls or in-person interviews are required at Ambiance Matchmaking. 

The Search: Monday, 2 pm, Condesa, Mexico City 

Leslie heads to our Mexico City office to start the matching process. There is someone that immediately came to mind during their interview (which happens very often, even before an official search is done). Leslie calls the possible match and tells her about Jeff. “He’s 6’1" with chestnut brown hair and golden brown eyes. He’s driven and has built his own tech company from the ground up. He is spiritual, not religious. In his spare time, he travels, competes in triathlons, and cooks for family and friends.” Leslie then describes his temperament, and why she thinks the two would be a good match. She agrees (how could she not?), and a date is arranged for that weekend. 

Singles Database

The next step is to search our Singles Database using Jeff’s parameters. Leslie types in a variety of preferences; age range, education, ethnicity, religion, and family plans. She searches all Ambiance locations throughout the world. The search reveals two handfuls of great matches. He is scheduled for the next two months in Mexico City, San Francisco, and Chicago. 

Ambiance Recruiters

Meanwhile, Leslie begins searching outside of our Singles Database for other possible matches. She first calls Ambiance Matchmaking recruiters to give them Jeff’s search parameters. Ambiance recruiters are well-connected in their communities and constantly meet new people through friends and events. When they come in contact with someone that might be a good match for a client, an interview is scheduled with one of our matchmakers.

Ambiance Digital Recruitment™

Leslie then contacts Ambiance Matchmaking’s digital search expert with the details of Jeff’s search. Ambiance’s digital search expert utilizes online platforms such as LinkedIn, professional organizations, and private member-only clubs. Client information is never shared online. Each digital search is unique and completely discreet. From this point, she will reach out to possible candidates and request an in-depth interview. If there is a good candidate, Leslie will present the profile to Jeff for reviewal. 

Private Matchmaking Network (PMN)

Finally, Leslie reaches out to Ambiance Matchmaking’s Private Matchmaking Network. Ambiance has built this network over the last 20+ years and it includes a very carefully selected group of professional matchmakers across the globe. Leslie contacts these matchmakers to provide Jeff’s search parameters. Again, this is a completely confidential process. Under no circumstance can a matchmaker share client information.

Casting: Tuesday, 7 am, San Francisco Bay Area

Leslie flies out the next day to San Francisco for another interview. While visiting, she holds a casting to further expand Jeff’s matching pool. It’s set to take place at Ambiance Matchmaking’s headquarters in the San Francisco Bay Area between 2-4 pm. In the two-hour window, 15 women come in and out. Some are dressed for a job interview while others have cocktail attire. All are accomplished, but Leslie only chooses two that will fit well with Jeff’s lifestyle, plans, and character.

Jeff and Leslie will reconvene after each match to discuss and possibly refine his matching preferences (private 1-1 consultations with Leslie are only available in our VIP memberships). During his experience with Ambiance Matchmaking, he will learn, grow, refine, and pinpoint exactly what he needs in his life partner. It will be exciting and enlightening, with possible growing pains, but completely worthwhile, because, finding your life partner might be the most important decision you'll ever make.


Taylor Wade

Taylor is one of the founders of Ambiance Matchmaking. She now dedicates her time to curating content for our community through her podcast and blog. Writing and podcasting is the art of great story-telling. As a relationship writer and editor, she has always sought to capture the reality of the dating experience, full of drama, friction, and joy. The best mind is an open mind, so she specializes in asking questions and approaching a story without preconceptions.

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